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Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts

Friday, June 26, 2009

You're Fired, Now What?

It can happen to anybody, like me! Yes, you get the call from your director with the appropriate apologies and warm feelings. Now what? Perhaps you have kids, a mortgage, a pregnant wife, is this the end?

Take heart! Since you are a good manager, you have taken the time to build strong networking relationships in your company, right? You have also spent time getting the right training for this eventuality. You'll be fine, at least that's what everybody tells you. RingCentral Online - Free Trial plus 10% Off

Losing a job is one of the most difficult emotional, financial, and stress-inducing situations a person can face. Like somebody who has lost a loved one, a person who has lost a job often has diminished, higher order thinking skills. They also have diminished short term memory. The physical brain responds to emotional stress by focusing on life-preserving functions. It re-directs capacity from high-order thinking to low-order thinking. Sadly, many are unaware that it is happening. Now that you know what will happen, take action!

If you lose your job, for the first couple of days, make sure you write things down, more so than you normally would. Try to avoid making major decisions for up to 6 weeks, if possible. If not, make sure you consult a trusted friend who can give you an unbiased opinion. Land your next best job. Get started. www.Doostang.com

Additionally, use your social network. Notify your friends and colleagues on Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter that you are immediately on the market. Ask for advice, leads, and support. Consider all opportunities thoroughly and make sure you have folks you trust to give good advice. While Web 2.0 is awesome, don't count on your three, excellently written blogs to generate sufficient income (http://www.economicefficiency.blogspot.com and http://www.cleanerairforcities.blogspot.com).

Finally, when it comes time to leave your current job, do so with dignity. Be positive in your exit interview. Personally give your best wishes to those around you, even the person who fired you. It is a small world and gestures of courtesy and professionalism are well-remembered. Please remember also that your life is more valuable than any job or amount of money. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts, get help immediately! Contact SAVE.org, tell a friend, your religious leader, a police officer, anybody, just get help.

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Friday, February 27, 2009

Helping an Employee Cope with Grief

Death is a difficult reality, especially when an employee loses a loved one. Individuals deal with grief in different ways and often are unaware of a change in there behavior. Managers, by and large, are not mental health professionals, but should be compassionate human beings willing to demonstrate that compassion and help their employees through a very difficult time.

Having lost one of my parents when they were not even 50 was pretty traumatic. While I had lost my grandparents as a child and adult, losing my mother when I was 27 was pretty terrible. I found myself in a state of shock and emotionally very unsure.

While my manager and coworkers showed compassion, what was lacking was guidance on how the grieving process would impact my work.

When I was an officer in the US Army, we were trained in how to handle grieving soldiers. Much of that training has been very helpful and relevant. In general, the enormity of the emotional stress from a death consumes a significant portion of critical thinking resources. In a sense, a grieving person isn't functioning at full strength.

To help manage that, the employee needs to be reassured that they are supported in their attempt to get back on with their life. Additionally, the employee needs to know what to expect, specifically, difficulty focusing as well as limited short-term memory. It is also wise not to require any significant decision making for at least six weeks, as it can take that long to begin to regain a sense of normality.

If possible, encourage the employee to have a "buddy" or colleague keep an eye on them and QA their work if necessary. Also, a grieving employee may need flexibility in attending to final arrangements of the deceased, such as legal matters, property and asset disposal, etc. Additionally, many employers have Employee Assistance Plans (EAP) which allow the employee to speak with a counselor via phone.

Death is inevitable. As employees face the death of a loved one or major figure in their life, managers need a sensitivity as well as realistic expectations in supporting that employee. Flexibility, communication, and the buddy system can help the employee regain a sense of normality and give them the support they need in one of the most difficult times of life.

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