Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

I received the following question about staying in a job or quitting, after a reader read my post, "The Graceful Exit."

I just read your excellent post and it hit home with me. It has been quite some time that I have been contemplating changing careers. I quit a co-op position after two years because I didn't feel like it fit me. After failing to find another co-op, I went back to work for that company until graduation. Later, I took offer and started full-time.

After two years, I've been moved back to where I was while co-oping, and I'm remembering why I quit the first time. I would like to quit, but I don't have a plan for what to do next. I have serious hesitations about quitting my job. If I do choose to quit my job, what is the best reason to give my employer?

Here is my reply:

Wow, I have been in some very similar situations you have.

First and foremost, you have to think about what it is that really want to do. Since you are recently out of college, you are going to have several experiences that will likely change your career track.

Secondly, a great piece of advice is to never quit a job unless you have a new job to go to. Make sure that you have the new job, in writing! Use the time to consider your opportunities. Talk to friends, family, and colleagues in the types of positions you are interested in considering. Sign up on LinkedIn.com (Its free!).

If you have all of your ducks in a row and you are ready to leave, just tell your current employer that you wanted to pursue other opportunities. You are grateful for the time you have had, all that you learned, and the relationships you built, but its time to move on. Keep it short and nice. You may meet those folks again down the road. It is always good to leave on a positive note.

This is a great time in your life and career. Do your best and talk to as many people as you can. Remember always, you work to live, not live to work.

When to Talk to Your Manager About Quitting

As you have read the posts so far, the topics of raises, promotions, and quitting (in general) have been covered. This post covers that gray area/time when you aren't sure whether you are going to stay or what to quit your current job.

Honesty is the best policy, but there is always discretion. If you are thinking about quiting, you better some darn good reasons and an escape plan prepared. Similar to asking for a raise or promotion, you need to clearly understand and communicate why it is that you are considering this fairly drastic change. It may be simple, such as you and your spouse are moving, or retiring. It may also be complex, where the topics are difficult to discuss. In either case, be honest, factual, but use discretion when necessary. As always, don't let your emotions get the better of you!

Before going in, you need to ask the following questions:

1. Have I talked about these issues or concerns previously, and had a plan to resolve them?

2. Are these issue quantifiable, factual, or emotional (job satisfaction)?

3. Have I done everything possible to resolve these issues, such as speaking with HR, peers, or mentors?

4. What are the minimum requirements for satisfaction? Are those realistic?

5. What is the final straw?

If you can successfully answer these questions, it is time to make an appointment with your manager and discuss them. Hopefully, your manager is aware of the issues and has been working behind the scenes on your behalf. Hopefully, you have been willing to be part of the solution and willing to compromise. This is going to be difficult, but it may reap great rewards.



To borrow a principle from Stephen R. Covey, be willing to accept that you may not be able to solve one or all of the problems at one time. By leaving that option open, you may have given your manager the leeway or time necessary to "make something happen." You may find when the stress of resolution is gone, new possibilities open up.

What happens when you have followed all of this advice and you just can't take it any more? Read my post called "The Graceful Exit."

The Graceful Exit

In previous articles, I wrote about seeking a raise and a promotion. So what happens when the situation at work become untenable? The answer may be to leave. Making the decision may be easy, but taking the decision can be very difficult.

In my experience and that of conventional wisdom, is that finding a new job is easier when you have a job. If you believe that quitting is in your future, start looking now while you have a steady paycheck and benefits. Additionally, while looking for a new job, you may discover that what you are really interested in can be found in a different division of your existing company.

Assuming that you have decided to leave and have accepted the offer for your next job, what do you do next? The answer, negotiate your exit. In some cases, you might have an educational reimbursement payment outstanding, or just have several days of vacation left over. What you should consider is that your leaving the company may benefit the company, so why not share in that benefit? Ask that your reimbursement debt be forgiven, or that you receive a payout of some or all of your remaining vacation. Be creative, maybe you just want your cell phone bill paid until the end of the year.

Once you have negotiated your exit, tie off all of your business loose ends, clean your work area, and say your polite goodbyes. It is also helpful to pass along your LinkedIn profile, as well as your gmail account. This is a small world and you will likely meet your colleagues again in different venues, it is best to do it on good terms.

Following the theme of leaving on good terms, the exit interview is not your soapbox to sound off on every bad corporate decision ever made, or how your boss is a jerk, or that Marketing can't find its way out of a paper bag. Rather, a simple and honest answer such as, "I wanted to explore new opportunities" satisfies the requirement of why you are leaving. Leave with dignity and pride, but also smile at the road ahead.